Currently This Is The One By Utada see related

hi guys. i know it has been so long, but i couldn't help it. i've been busy as ever. much more now since i have a precalculus summer class to juggle with. it's so hard .,_.,..... 5 hours of hwk +! i haven't had much time for myself, and it doesn't help with other things weighing on my mind. that includes my friend and willie. there's no denying now that my friend want to be more than friends. it's been getting increasingly awkward & more uncomfortable to be around him knowing that. and that's an absolute no-no. the more i try to pull myself away, the more he wants me. even if restrain from being "cute" around him, i find that he likes me even more & thinks i'm "cuter" still. i like him as a friend, but i cannot return what he feels. and he's driving me into a corner in which there's no escape. that just makes even more painful to think about. it's so blatantly obvious that he likes me, my mom's in on the secret and he just gave himself away telling me that his uncle teases him about it. no kidding! he so badly want to tell me, but i think he chickened out on the last day of school. i know so because he just recently told me that he had something to tell me at the end of sophomore year. it's a good thing he didn't know where i was or told me yet. i would of probably freak out, burst into tears, and apologize profusely as i run away if he did. if he did, it would of put a mark on our friendship. it would of ruined it.  i can only hold out  for so long until he tells me himself. i just don't know what else to do about his advances. it makes it even worse that i don't feel the same way he does & that i like someone else. speaking of the "other one", i'm always at a puzzle as to what to do with him anyway. i want so much to be a part of his life as he is to mine.  it doesn't have to be equal. i think no matter where i might end up, i will always have a special place for william in my heart. that will never change.it's just sad that i haven't made much progress.  even in elementary school, i think i took notice of him the first time i glimpsed him. that's definitely weird, because i paid selective attention to him & it was different with him compared to other people. while i did dismiss it, it was only until middle school did i admit it. i thought i was sure i was ready to let him go at the end of freshman year; apparently i was wrong. instead, my feelings feel even stronger then they had. i'm entwined in a intricate web of no escape. where do i move on from there?

lol. not my bunny, but it looke like leoara when she was little x)) it was so cute that i couldn't resist

my first reaction to rainesan's notice: O~O WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????? x)) LOL

holy beep- it's been 2 MONTHS since i last posted X///x i'm extremely sorry if i didn't reply right away .,_.,... i shall continue to apologize to no end if that makes anyone feel better... i'm really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really sorry >///< if you've read my journal entries on gaia (not that anyone really cares), my old comp went down due to a nasty trojan horse that kepy sending me junk & opening web pages by itself... it's a long story as you can see *sobs* my dad took it took work, but it's just been sitting there for about to months; mostly, i had been mooching off matisse on limited time & recently acquired tempory use of a borrowed laptop. just today, my dad helped me get set up with a new email password because i forgot it a long time ago- i usually just cheated with YIM that automatically signed me in :< but right now, i don't have access to it either, because it's on my other comp. oh the emails that would've reminded me to check xanga when i was so very busy .,_., well, i hope you guys get the point :<

dunno x)) i though chi's attire was really cute so here it is...

that's marina & sestuna btw.

anyone feeling a little worn out? eesh.... i'm feeling it  & finals week..... i don't fell much like studying but i'm doing it anyway -///- *sigh* . /// . .... i'm also sad that i can't use my own computer : < (i hadn't said that already  more than once x)) ....) g2g for a bath-ayame

burnnies(mispelled on purpose :D).... ish shooo kyuuuuutesh x)).....　うさぎはかわいですか。:o she looks a little plump though O~o i hope there are no meat-eaters out there searching for their prey here *looks around suspiciously* O~o

aieee- laaaaaaate.... .,_., my comp has been acting like a butthead recently & i haven't been able to use mine- so i used matisse's >= D i've been meaning to post for sometime....

 hi guys and happy new year to everyone! may you all live long and prosper for the upcoming years to come ^///^ there are things i've wanted to imrpove on this year or accomplish of which i haven't & that i regret; but, if not last year, i hope to accomplish for the year! what a year-it's been crazy everywhere.... not a dull moment O~o while turning back the clock, 2007 was a little hard for me due to parting & my friends going all over the place .,_., but i guess that's how things go as we get older & go separate paths *sigh* i admit to complaining & not being very graceful about it, but there were good times :] times that i was happy because of the people there to support me. i'll also admit to praying everyday to God without fail concerning ウィリアム;in fact, it had to do with one of my wishes...  eheh *sweat* :/ no matter how impossible i knew the wish to be, i prayed neverless figuring that it wouldn't come true but did anyway. it didn't matter to me that even if 'we' weren't intimately involved but to see him everyday would be a gift. i know it's cliche & a desperate hope, but they say if wish hard enough maybe it will come true! 2008, i vowed to do better & move on to find peace in acceptance :] it has worked & my outlook life has been brighter...however i didn't expect that wish to come true O~o i never though 'he' would show up in my life again sophmore year... at first, i really didn't know how to react & i was very confused with mixed emotions >///< thankfully i was able to think it over & find a solution. my one setback though it accomplishing it though (i.e., being brave enough to talk to him) so for 2009's New Year's resolution for me will be find a way to accomplish what i have accomplished & to be better person that i am now :] how 'bout you guys?